Home » 37 Finest Joey Diaz Quotes

37 Finest Joey Diaz Quotes

If you’re not familiar with Joey Diaz, you’re in for a treat. Joey is a stand-up comic who has been performing for over 30 years. His no-holds-barred style of comedy has won him legions of fans. Joey is also an actor and a podcaster.

He’s had roles in movies & television such as The Longest Yard, Spider-Man 2, My Name Is Earl, Grudge Match &  The Many Saints of Newark. And his podcast, “The Church of What’s Happening Now,” is one of the most popular podcasts on iTunes.

In this blog post, we’ll be looking at some of Joey Diaz’s best quotes!

About Joey Diaz

Jose Antonio Diaz was born on 19th Feb 1963, Joey is a Cuban-American stand-up comedian, actor, and podcast host.

Professionally he is famous as Joey “CoCo” Diaz.

Joey is known for his work on the show “Taxi” as well as his popular podcast, “The Church of What’s Happening Now.”

He started performing stand-up comedy in the early 1990s and has since become one of the most successful comedians in the business.

Here are some of the finest Joey Diaz Quotes

There’s never a dull moment when Joey Diaz is around. The comedian and actor is known for his outrageous sense of humor and quick wit.

In addition to being hilariously funny, Diaz is also a source of wisdom and insight. Here we go with some of his best quotes on life, laughter, and everything in between. Enjoy!

1. “I remember looking at the year 2000 like something I was never going to hit.”

joey diaz quotes

2. “I’m Hispanic. I’m a Catholic. I believe in God. I believe in karma.” 

joey diaz quotes

As someone who is Hispanic, a Catholic, and a firm believer in God and karma, I have long understood the power of faith and religion in shaping who we are as individuals.

While some look down on spirituality as being outdated or irrelevant in today’s world, I harbor no such misconceptions. For me, faith serves as a driving force that motivates me to be the best version of myself and to care for others.

Whether it is through volunteering at my local church or simply taking time each day to connect with my higher power, my religious beliefs have helped me build a strong sense of purpose and gratitude in my life.

And while I recognize that others may hold different views on these topics, I know that my faith has been an integral part of who I am as both a person and a member of society. As the saying goes, “I’m Hispanic. I’m a Catholic. I believe in God.

I believe in karma.” And there’s no denying that this powerful combination makes me stronger than ever before.

3. “I don’t have to carry my own suitcase. I can make a living as an author.”

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4. “People knew I did blow, but I didn’t tell nobody my secret. People knew, but you never saw me high, so I understand. That’s what this book is about.”

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5. “I think it took me three years to get on stage after I got out of prison.” 

joey diaz quotes

6. “I had too many bad things that happened and I’d always go back to doing something stupid.”

7. “It brings back both. As soon as I land in Newark and I’m coming up on Route 3, I just start thinking about everything that happened in New Jersey from me growing up, and it’s both good and bad. But after about an hour or so and I get some Chinese food, I’m back, I’m okay.”

8. “You start thinking about all these insecurities. Then I realized, You know what? I’m from fucking New Jersey.”

9. “It was definitely a wake-up call for me. It was definitely a wake-up call for me, and it was a good wake-up call.”

It was definitely a wake-up call for me. I was caught off guard and it really made me think about what I wanted in life. It made me realize that I needed to make some changes and that I couldn’t keep living the way I was. It was a turning point for me and I’m grateful for it.

10. “You just drove a fucking hour on a Friday night from New Jersey to see me in the city. You paid $22, you parked, you bought drugs, you got a date… The least I can do is show you my hand. I can’t talk to everybody. I can’t hug everybody. But I can be accessible to you.”

11. “I lived in my car in Hollywood for a year, and then it got towed. My… apartment got towed. How… does that happen?” 

joey diaz quotes

 12. “People don’t get help because they’re scared, but after I did that podcast on addictions last week, I really saw how many emails I got and how many people that I had never met confessed to me.”

joey diaz quotes

Generally, we struggle to explain things that are bothering us, We keep those worms inside us and allow them to eat us from inside. We think that if we take the help of people or if we engage in a discussion related to our issue then we will be tagged as a weaker person.

13. “Bars were still open until seven in the morning and it was still crazy, so I knew I couldn’t grow if I stayed there.” 

joey diaz quotes

14. “I thought I would be an extra one time in a movie. And I would have been happy with that.” 

joey diaz quotes

15. “Jersey’s amazing. Why? Because everybody always wants to be from New York, so we always had to work harder.”

joey diaz quotes

16. “Ford, Suzuki, Subaru—all those cars are good. Subaru went the extra mile—they give you free service now. Because it’s not about the product anymore; it’s about customer service and what you wrap around it.”

In today’s market people look out for extra benefits associated with whatever they are buying, If a product owner thinks that he can survive in this competitive market on the basis of its established brand image then he is completely wrong!

17. “I’m a stand-up comic, but I also have ideas, and I want to get them out. People think getting in front of the mic is the only way to work out. You’ve got to try different situations.”

18. “When you and I were growing up, we were fans of people. We had a poster of Richard Pryor on our wall or a poster of Led Zeppelin or Tool or Pink Floyd. That doesn’t exist today.” 

19. “I want to write a book on addictions, just to let people know the horrible things I did and the horrible situations I’ve put myself in.”

20. “People die millionaires. All your life, you’re gonna stress money?”

joey diaz quotes

21. “A week before my mother died, I came home late from a Halloween party and my mother got mad at me and smacked me and the next morning, she apologized and she said, “Listen, man. I do this to you because I want you to grow up to be a fuckin’ man.” And a week later, she died.”

22. “I was just coming out of prison, I was married, and I had a kid, and I didn’t know what to do, so I tried stand-up.”

joey diaz quotes

23. “I didn’t want to leave North Bergen, but I knew that for me to grow as a human being and for me too.” 

joey diaz quotes

24. “When something bad happens like that at the time, you never think of… I never dreamed at that time.”

joey diaz quotes

25. “If I see an audition for a show or a movie, I’ll send a tape in. I attack it. The whole time, I’m booking comedy, so no matter what, I always got that coming in. I’m always working on my craft.”

26. “I want to write stories for my daughter”

joey diaz quotes

27. “It’s funny, I went to Colorado at 19 and I missed New Jersey; I missed my friends so much.” 

28. “Like when something happens and you add comedy to it, it makes it okay.”

29. “Who’s better than you?”

Are you the best?
But who can say for sure?
There might be someone out there who’s better than you.
Or maybe you’re the best and nobody can touch you.
Who’s better than you?

30. “If you’re walking on ice, you might as well dance.”

31. “You gotta see the devil before you can be your own god.”

32. “You have to justify your existence everyday to the universe.” 

33. “Hey, I’m not rich, but I’m lucky. I get to do what I want to do. That’s not an easy thing to do in this country.”

joey diaz quotes

34. “I just showed up at the Comedy Store. You keep showing up, and you keep showing up, and eventually, somebody notices.”

joey diaz quotes

35. “I think I was always doomed to be involved in some type of comedy because I was an only child, so I learned early on to justify everything in my head with comedy.”

36. “Comedy had made its point; there was no reason to be a criminal when I had little things going with comedy. So comedy, in a way, saved my life.”

joey diaz quotes

37. “I was making money in Colorado, I was taking classes at night, I had a ski pass, I had a nice apartment, and it made me get on a plane and go home for my birthday in 1984.”

joey diaz quotes


What made Joey Diaz famous?

In 2010, Diaz started to gain widespread notoriety from his appearances on The Joe Rogan Experience podcast.

What is Joey Diaz doing now?

Today Joey is selling out theatres and hosting one of the best comedy podcasts on the internet.

Does Joey Diaz have a special?

The great Joey Diaz takes to the stage for his very first 1 hour special as he tackles topics such as drugs, fights, his wild youth and much more.

Let’s Wind Up…

Joey Diaz is a hilarious comedian with some great insights into life. His quotes are insightful and funny, and we hope you enjoyed reading them as much as we did. What’s your favorite Joey Diaz quote? Let us know in the comments!