fbpx

Home » 32 Funny New Year Quotes and Wishes to Split Your Sides

32 Funny New Year Quotes and Wishes to Split Your Sides

Happy New Year! It’s the time of the year again to reflect on the past and look forward to a new beginning. It’s also the perfect time to spread cheer and laughter with funny New Year quotes! 

From witty one-liners to jokes that will have you in stitches, these quotes are sure to get everyone in a celebratory mood. If you’re looking for something goofy or lighthearted, this compilation of humorous quotes is sure to brighten up your celebration!

The New Year’s Mood

The New Year has arrived, and with it, an opportunity to start fresh. As 2023 dawns, many of us are remembering the challenges of 2022 and what lies ahead in the coming months. While some of us may be apprehensive about the future, others are feeling hopeful and optimistic as they look ahead to what could be a better year.

The New Year is traditionally a time for resolutions, goal-setting, and self-improvement. Many people are making plans to focus on their mental health this year, aiming to practice mindfulness, take more time for themselves or find ways to manage stress better.

As we approach the end of the year, thoughts turn to a new beginning with New Year’s celebrations. For many people, this is an exciting time full of anticipation that can be felt in the air. From holiday parties to special dinners and fireworks, ringing in a new year is filled with joy and fun!

Whether it’s at home or out on the town, there are plenty of activities that can be enjoyed together. Parties allow everyone to join in on games or music for a night full of laughter and cheer as you look forward to what lies ahead. With food from all over the world, your taste buds will embrace each bite as you share stories and create lasting memories.

Funny New Year Quotes and Wishes to Make Everyone Laugh

This festive holiday brings about a sense of joy and excitement, which often leads to funny moments and memorable quotes. Whether you’re looking for something witty, sarcastic, or goofy, plenty of amusing New Year quotes are sure to spread smiles across every face in the room.

“An optimist stays up until midnight to see the new year in. A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves.
Bill Vaughan”
new year quotes funny
“Happy New Year! It is midnight already, and you are getting old – just go to sleep!”
Anonymous
new year quotes funny
“Let us celebrate this New Year’s Eve in honor of the time we successfully wasted this year.”
Anonymous
new year quotes funny

This New Year’s Eve, let us drink a glass of bubbly (or two!) in honor of all those times when you took an extra long nap or binge-watched your favorite show instead of doing something productive.

Although it may seem hard to believe now, some of our best memories from this year were created during these unplanned lazy afternoons!

Let’s also toast not succumbing to the pressure of achieving impossible goals and getting everything done perfectly.

“It’s time to make old mistakes in different ways. Hurray! Happy New Year!”
Anonymous
new year quotes funny
“I’m gonna order a pizza five minutes before the new year and when they arrive I will say, “I ordered this a year ago!”
Anonymous
new year quotes funny
“So excited for you guys to ruin another year of your life. Have a merry and Happy New Year 2023.”
Anonymous
“Happy New Year! Spoiler Alert: It’s going to feel the same.”
Anonymous
“Happy New Year, my love. The next year can be a great year together if you just agree with everything I say.”
Anonymous
“Sorry for all the annoying behavior I did throughout the year. May you give me another chance to do that in the next New Year!”
Anonymous
“May this new year bring you more money so that you can buy expensive gifts for me. Happy new year!”
Anonymous

After all, who doesn’t love getting spoilt by their beloved? And if I can get my hands on something fancy and luxurious without spending too much of my own money, then why not? So go ahead and make some extra bucks this year and let’s see how great life can get with all those shiny and sparkly goodies coming your way!

Wishful thinking aside here’s wishing everyone a very Happy New Year full of joys and surprises.

“If you were born in September, it is better to assume that your parents started their new year successfully”
Anonymous
new year quotes funny
“May your dreams get fulfilled as well as your bills. Best of luck with the New Year, dear.”
Anonymous
new year quotes funny
“May this New Year bring you more problems, tears, and pain. Don’t get me wrong. I just want you to be a stronger person.”
Anonymous
new year quotes funny
“I hope you finally learn how to put your brain to use this year. I wish you a happy new year!”
Anonymous
new year quotes funny
“I hope this new year brings you joy and happiness because you look so ugly when you cry. I don’t want to witness that ever again.”
Anonymous
new year quotes funny
“New years are like pages in a book that’s so boring. You always think that the next page will be interesting, but it turns out to be the same every time. Happy New Year!”
Anonymous
“The funniest part of a new year is making new resolutions. I am pretty sure you have one too. Let me know about your resolution and I’ll try not to laugh as I did in the last year.”
Anonymous

Funny New Year Quotes on Being Drunk

Welcome to the holiday season! With New Year’s Eve just around the corner, it’s time to prepare for a fun celebrating night. Are you looking for something to make your toast memorable? 

“Come, gentlemen, I hope we shall drink down all unkindness.”
William Shakespeare
“New Year’s Eve is finally here, where we can be drunk in public and no one minds. That’s why it’s the best holiday!”
Anonymous
“I never worry about being driven to drink; I just worry about being driven home. “
W. C. Fields
“If you want an interesting party, combine cocktails and a fresh box of crayons for everyone.”
Robert Fulghum
new year quotes funny
“The proper behavior all through the holiday season is to be drunk. This drunkenness culminates on New Year’s Eve, when you get so drunk you kiss the person you’re married to.”
Anonymous
new year quotes funny

Sarcastic New Year Quotes About Funny Resolutions

With the New Year upon us, it’s time for some of that age-old holiday cheer. But if you’re looking for something a little more lighthearted and humorous, these sarcastic New Year quotes are just what you need!

“The new year begins in a snow-storm of white vows.”
George William Curtis
new year quotes funny
“I’m so excited for the new year. Unfortunately, I don’t have any resolutions to make since I’m already perfect.”
Anonymous
new year quotes funny
“My New Year’s resolution is to tolerate fools more gladly, provided this does not encourage them to take up more of my time.”
Hunar Hali
new year quotes funny
“May all your troubles last as long as your New Year’s Resolutions!”
Anonymous
new year quotes funny

On the surface, it looks like an innocent New Year’s cheer, wishing people good luck and hoping their resolutions will last all year. But when you stop to think about it, it takes on a more sarcastic tone. 

After all, who hasn’t made a resolution or two that quickly fizzles out? The implication of this quote is that our resolutions often don’t last very long; if we’re lucky, our struggles will fade away as fast as our New Year’s Resolutions.

It also serves as an important reminder for us to take our resolutions seriously and make achievable and sustainable changes.

“Last year’s resolution was to lose 20 pounds by Christmas. Only 30 pounds to go.”
Anonymous
“Now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual.”
Mark Twain
“My new year resolution? Buy more shoes, drink more wine, and don’t worry about the gym. I can do this.”
Anonymous
“Good resolutions are simply checks that men draw on a bank where they have no account.”
—Oscar Wilde
“Don’t expect any New Year’s resolutions from me. I plan on staying the same awkward, sarcastic, foul-mounted delight, that you have all come to know and love!”
Anonymous

FAQ’s

When was New Year’s first celebrated?

Around 2000 BCE in Mesopotamia.

Why was New Year’s changed from March to January?

During 715–673 BCE, Numa revised the Roman republican calendar by replacing January with March as the first month.

Which country is first in time?

Kiribati

Let’s Wind Up…

New Year’s is the perfect time to laugh and remember the year’s special moments. You can use these funny New Year quotes to add a spark to your New Year’s toast or just as inspiration for a lighthearted moment; they are sure to bring some joy and laughter. 

Remember that it’s important to take joy in all the small moments that come our way. A new year is a wonderful time to start fresh and make even more memories with family and friends!