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25 Funny Bible Quotes That Will Make You Think Twice

The Bible is one of the most famous and well-read books in history. It is full of wisdom and guidance but can also be funny. Here are 25 funny Bible quotes that will make you think twice about what you’re reading!

About The Funny Bible Quotes

One of the best things about reading the Bible is discovering all of the great quotes that come from it. However, some of these quotes can be a little bit funny, especially when you first hear them. Here are some of our favorite Bible quotes that sound funny at first, but once you understand their meaning, they’re just as powerful as ever. Enjoy!

Here are the Funny Bible Quotes for You

Have you ever read a Bible verse and thought, “that’s kind of funny”? Let’s Make you feel that way today:

1. “A feast is made for laughter, wine makes life merry, and money is the answer for everything.” – Ecclesiastes 10:19

funny bible quotes

The book of Ecclesiastes is full of sage advice, and this particular quote is no exception. In a nutshell, it’s telling us that feasts are meant to be enjoyable, wine makes life more fun, and money can solve a lot of problems. Of course, there’s more to it than that.

The verse is also emphasizing the importance of living in the moment and enjoying the good things in life. After all, as the saying goes, “life is too short to drink bad wine.”

2. “And there was a young man named Eutychus sitting on the window sill, sinking into a deep sleep; and as Paul kept on talking, he was overcome by sleep and fell down from the third floor and was picked up dead.” – Acts 20:9-10

funny bible quotes

3. “Your teeth are like a flock of newly shorn ewes, which have come up from their washing, all of which bear twins, and not one among them has lost her young.” – Song of Solomon 4:2

funny bible quotes

4. “Refresh me with apples, sustain me with raisin cakes, For I am lovesick.” – Songs 2:4

funny bible quotes

5. “You also took the fine jewelry I gave you, the jewelry made of my gold and silver, and you made for yourself male idols and engaged in prostitution with them.” – Ezekiel 16:17

funny bible quotes

In the above quote from Ezekiel 16:17, God is rebuking Israel’s nation for prostituting themselves to other gods. He further explains that they did this by taking the jewelry He had given them and using it to make idols. Not only did they engage in idol worship, but they also engaged in sexual immorality with these idols.

This was a great sin in God’s eyes and resulted in His judgment against them. Today, we can learn from this passage that we should be careful not to engage in anything that would displease God. We should also be thankful for His blessings and not take them for granted. Worshipping Him with our whole hearts is the best way to avoid His judgment.

6. “Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife.” – Proverbs 21:9

7. “It is better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and an angry woman.” – Proverbs 21:19

8. “No one whose testicles have been crushed or whose penis has been cut off may be admitted into the community of the LORD.” – Deuteronomy 23:2

9. “He said to Jacob, “Let me gulp down some of that red stuff; I’m starving.” – Genesis 25:30

10. “Happy is the one who seizes your infants and dashes them against the rocks.” – Psalms 137:9

The quote, “Happy is the one who seizes your infants and dashes them against the rocks,” is often misinterpreted as a call for violence. However, when looked at in context, it becomes clear that this is not the case. The quote comes from the book of Psalms, which is full of references to God’s justice.

In this instance, the author talks about how happy they will be when they see wicked people punished. They are not condoning the act of killing infants but rather expressing their satisfaction at seeing justice done.

This interpretation is further supported by the fact that, in the very next verse, the author talks about how “the LORD takes pleasure in the death of the wicked.” It is clear that the quote should not be taken literally but rather as a statement about justice being served.

11. “Whosoever hideth her hideth the wind, and the ointment of his right hand, which bewrayeth itself.” – Proverbs 27:15-16

funny bible quotes

12. “These people are not drunk, as you suppose, for it is only nine o’clock in the morning.” – Acts 2:15

funny bible quotes

13. “Speak, Thus declares the Lord: ‘The dead bodies of men shall fall like dung upon the open field, like sheaves after the reaper, and none shall gather them.’” – Jeremiah 9:22

funny bible quotes

14. “Worst of all wounds is that of the heart, worst of all evils is that of a woman.” – Sirach 25:12

funny bible quotes

15. “Like a gold ring in a pig’s snout is a beautiful woman who shows no discretion.” – Proverbs 11:22

funny bible quotes

The quote from Proverbs 11:22 is often used to describe a woman who is beautiful but lacks intelligence or wisdom. In other words, she may be pretty to look at, but she is not someone you would want to associate with. The comparison to a gold ring in a pig’s snout emphasizes her lack of discerning taste.

A pig is an animal known for being dirty and unruly, and a gold ring would be out of place in its environment. In the same way, a beautiful woman who shows no discretion is someone who sticks out like a sore thumb. She may be fun to look at, but she is not someone you want to spend your time with.

16. “Where Jesus is so angry at a fig tree being out of season, he curses it to death.” – Mathew 21

17. “Give strong drink unto him that is ready to perish, and wine unto those that be of heavy hearts” – Proverbs 31:6

18. “And there was a great famine in Samaria, as they besieged it, until a donkey’s head was sold for eighty shekels of silver, and the fourth part of a kab of dove’s dung for five shekels of silver.” – 2 Kings 6:25

19. “A continual dropping in a very rainy day and a contentious woman are alike.” Proverbs 27:15

20. “Then the LORD commanded the fish, and it vomited Jonah up onto the dry land.” – Jonah 2:10

The book of Jonah is the story of a prophet who is called by God to preach to the people of Nineveh. However, Jonah chooses to disobey God and instead flees by sea. He is then swallowed by a giant fish, and he spends three days and nights in its belly. At the end of this time, Jonah repents and prays to God for forgiveness.

In response, God commands the fish to vomit Jonah up onto the dry land. This story is often interpreted as a tale of repentance and redemption. The quote from Jonah 2:10 highlights the power of God over even the most powerful creatures on earth. It also serves as a reminder that we can never truly run from God – no matter how far we may try to flee.

21. “When two men are fighting and the wife of one of them intervenes to drag her husband clear of his opponent, if she puts out her hand and catches hold of the man by his privates, you must cut off her hand and show her no mercy.” – Deut. 25:11

funny bible quotes

22. “And you shall eat it as a barley cake, baking it in their sight on human dung.” – Ezekiel 4:12

funny bible quotes

23. “A young man was following Him, wearing nothing but a linen sheet over his naked body; and they seized him. But he pulled free of the linen sheet and escaped naked.” – 8. Mark 14:51

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24. “Very well,” he replied, “I allow you cow’s dung in place of human excrement; bake your bread on that.” – Ezekiel 4:12-15

funny bible quotes

25. “And bring hither the fatted calf, and kill [it]; and let us eat, and be merry:” – Luke 15:23-24

funny bible quotes

The above quote from the bible is often misinterpreted as an endorsement of gluttony and excess. However, a closer reading reveals that it is actually a powerful metaphor for the power of forgiveness. The fatted calf represents the prodigal son, who squandered his inheritance but has now returned home.

By slaughtering the calf and hosting a feast, the father is demonstrating his unconditional love and forgiveness for his son. In this story, the act of eating and being merry symbolizes the joy that comes from being reconciled with one’s family. As such, the quote teaches us that forgiveness is always worth celebrating.

Let’s Wind Up…

And that’s a wrap on our list of the funniest Bible quotes! We hope you enjoyed reading through them as much as we did. It’s always nice to be able to laugh at ourselves, and these quotes are perfect for doing just that. If you know of any other funny Bible quotes, be sure to let us know in the comments below!