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Home » 39 Andy Bernard Quotes To Make You Laugh

39 Andy Bernard Quotes To Make You Laugh

Andy Bernard, a character from the popular television show “The Office”, has become an iconic figure through the show’s many memorable quotes. His witty lines and humorous catchphrases have made him popular with fans of the show, and his quotes are often quoted in many different contexts. In this article, we take a look at some of Andy Bernard’s most classic and well-known quotes that have left an imprint on The Office fans everywhere.

About Andy Bernard

Andy Bernard is a fictional character in the popular TV series, “The Office.” Played by Ed Helms, Andy is known for his eccentric personality and memorable quotes. He is an alumnus of Cornell University and takes great pride in his alma mater. Andy starts off as an obnoxious salesman at Dunder Mifflin but eventually becomes the Regional Manager. One of Andy’s defining characteristics is his love for acappella music.

He often breaks out into song, much to the annoyance of his colleagues. In fact, he even forms a singing group with some of his coworkers called “Here Comes Treble.” However, despite his quirks and occasional mishaps, Andy shows growth throughout the series as he learns to become a better leader and friend. Overall, Andy Bernard adds a dynamic element to “The Office” with his unique personality and antics.

Top Andy Bernard Quotes

Andy Bernard has been a fan favorite on NBC’s hit show The Office for many years. He is known for his quick wit, love for Dwight, and unique sense of humor. Throughout the show, Andy has said some of the most memorable lines that are sure to make you laugh. From funny moments with Michael Scott to heartwarming moments with Erin Hannon, these quotes from Andy Bernard have become iconic.

“Andy Bernard does not lose contests. He wins them. Or he quits them because they’re unfair.”
– Andy Bernard
andy bernard quotes
“I wish there was a way to know you’re in the good old days before you’ve actually left them.”
– Andy Bernard
andy bernard quotes

As we grow older, it’s natural to look back on our past experiences and wish that we could relive them once again. We often get so caught up in the present moment that we forget to appreciate the good times while they’re happening. It’s only when we’ve moved on from a certain phase of life that we realize how much we truly enjoyed it. 

This sentiment is captured perfectly in the famous quote by Andy Bernard from The Office: “I wish there was a way to know you’re in the good old days before you’ve actually left them.” It’s a reminder to cherish every moment that life has to offer, even if it doesn’t seem like much at the time. Whether it’s spending time with loved ones, pursuing a passion, or simply enjoying the little things, we should take advantage of every opportunity for happiness. Of course, this is easier said than done.

“I’m always thinking one step ahead, like a carpenter that makes stairs.”
– Andy Bernard
andy bernard quotes
“Every little boy fantasizes about his fairytale wedding.”
– Andy Bernard
andy bernard quotes
“He may have won the battle, but I will win the next battle.”
– Andy Bernard
andy bernard quotes
“When you’re in a rock and roll band with somebody, you’re bonded for life.”
– Andy Bernard
“I am a great interviewee. Why? Because I have something no one else has: my brain. Which I use to my advantage when advantageous.”
– Andy Bernard
“Sorry, I annoyed you with my friendship.”
– Andy Bernard
“I know a few things about love. Horrible, terrible, awful, awful things.”
– Andy Bernard
“How do I find out if a girl is interested? Great question. I usually just assume that they’re not.”
– Andy Bernard
“Women cannot resist a man singing show tunes. It’s so powerful, even a lot of men can’t resist a man singing show tunes.”
– Andy Bernard
“Put your heart out there like that, it’s liable to just turn into this blackened carbon brick where it has barbecue sauce of shame and rage, and two hot people with a perfect relationship would not understand that!”
– Andy Bernard
“You can’t let a girl feel good about herself. It will backfire on you. Every compliment has to be backhanded. Oh, I like your dress, but I’d like it more if you had prettier hair.’”
– Andy Bernard
“Erin and I have our first date tonight, and it has to be perfect. Why? Because according to ‘How I Met Your Mother,’ that’s the date that your kids are going to wait patiently to hear about, and you’d better have a good story to tell them.”
– Andy Bernard
“Yeah, so life gives you lemons, and you just have to eat them rinds and all. And if you don’t want to eat them, your ex-girlfriend will shove them down your throat with the help of her hunky new boyfriend.”
– Andy Bernard
“Toby, it’s a joke. How are you not murdered every hour?”
– Andy Bernard
andy bernard quotes
“Mistletoe is not an excuse for sexual assault.”
– Andy Bernard
andy bernard quotes
“Oh, it’s on. Like a prawn who yawns at dawn.”
– Andy Bernard
andy bernard quotes
“The male is a funny species. We don’t just tell each other how we feel.”
– Andy Bernard
andy bernard quotes
“I’m not Rumpelstiltskin, Jim. I can’t keep spinning gold out of your shit!”
– Andy Bernard
andy bernard quotes
“I don’t have kids or anything, but if my grandmother ever dies, I’m going to kill myself.”
– Andy Bernard
“When I got the nickname Boner Champ, that’s when I became me.”
– Andy Bernard
“I get super flexible when I’m nervous.”
– Andy Bernard

For some people, nerves can be crippling. They might feel their heart racing, palms sweating or even their legs turning to jelly. But for others, the opposite is true. Nerves can actually make them feel more agile and flexible than ever before. One reason for this could be that when we’re nervous, our bodies release adrenaline into our bloodstream. This hormone increases blood flow and oxygen delivery to our muscles.

which can help us move more quickly and with greater ease. It’s also been suggested that adrenaline may help reduce pain signals in the body, making it easier to push through discomfort during physical activity. Of course, not everyone experiences this phenomenon when they’re nervous – it’s a highly individual response that depends on a range of factors including genetics, personality traits, and past experiences.

“You give me a gift? Bam! Thank you note. You invite me somewhere? Pow! RSVP. You do me a favor? Wham! Favor returned. Do not test my politeness.”
– Andy Bernard
“There are two things I am passionate about recycling and revenge.”
– Andy Bernard
“I am a man. I’m a bigger man than you’ll ever be! I would never sleep with another man’s fiancee!”
– Andy Bernard
“Toby! Hey, I changed my mind again. I am gonna leave Dunder Mifflin to pursue acting after all.”
– Andy Bernard
“Oh, speaking of time machines, I just got back from the future, and I went to your funeral, and guess what? Nobody came.”
– Andy Bernard
“I guess I don’t have what it takes to be a film critic. I could be a food critic, ‘These muffins taste bad.’ Or maybe an art critic, ‘That painting is bad.’”
– Andy Bernard
“If I had to put Dwight’s chances into a percentage, I would say he has none percent chance.”
– Andy Bernard
“What if Dwight dies and I still owe him something? That is a recipe for a ghost.”
– Andy Bernard
andy bernard quotes
“I’m petrified of nipple chafing. Once it starts, it’s a vicious circle. You have sensitive nipples, they chafe, so they become more sensitive, so they chafe more. It’s a tough one. Gotta take precautions.”
– Andy Bernard
andy bernard quotes
“Guys, word of advice. Speaking as a former baby, don’t get too hung up on baby names. I was named Walter Jr. after my father until I was about six or so when my parents changed their minds.”
– Andy Bernard
andy bernard quotes
“Protect her from what? Bears, you idiot? When’s the last time you saw a damn bear in Scranton?”
– Andy Bernard
andy bernard quotes
“What I wouldn’t give for one of Phyllis’s classic room clearing farts right now.”
– Andy Bernard
andy bernard quotes
“The entire office has come down with a pernicious case of the Mondays.”
– Andy Bernard

The Monday Blues are a common affliction that affects millions of workers across the globe. It’s a feeling of dread and lethargy that sets in at the start of each work week, making it difficult to get out of bed and face the day ahead. This phenomenon is so widespread that it has even been given its own name: “The Monday Blues.” Symptoms include fatigue, lack of motivation, irritability, and anxiety. 

While this condition can be frustrating and debilitating for employees, employers also suffer from lost productivity due to low morale. However, there are ways to combat The Monday Blues. Employers can offer flexible work schedules or remote work options to give employees a break from the daily grind. They can also encourage team-building activities and offer incentives for high-performing employees.

“I’ve been trying to act and manage this branch. Half the time, I don’t know if I’m wearing my stage makeup or my work makeup.”
– Andy Bernard
“I’ll be the number two guy here in Scranton in six weeks. How? Name repetition, personality mirroring, and never breaking off a handshake.”
– Andy Bernard
“Big Tuna is a super ambitious guy, you know? Cut-your-throat-to-get-ahead type of guy. But, I mean, I’m not threatened by him. I went to Cornell. Ever heard of it? I graduated in four years, I never studied once, I was drunk the whole time, and I sang in the acapella group, ‘Here Comes Treble.’”
– Andy Bernard

FAQs

What was Andy Bernards last line?

“I wish there was a way to know you were in the good old days before you actually left them.”

What does Andy Bernard call himself?

the ‘Nard Dog

What was the last line of The Office?

“There’s a lot of beauty in ordinary things. Isn’t that kind of the point?”

Let’s Wind Up…

It is clear that Andy Bernard from The Office is a much beloved character, both in the show and by fans. He has had some truly memorable quotes during the series and they are often quoted by fans to this day. His quotes may be funny, but they also have a little wisdom hidden in them. They are sure to make you laugh, think, and even appreciate life a little more.